What do you do when you write a travel blog but the government mandates that you can’t travel? Collect shelter-in-place / stay-at-home jokes:
- Eighth day of self-isolation and it’s like Vegas in my house. We’re losing money by the minute, cocktails are acceptable at any hour, and nobody knows what time it is.
- I told my wife how thankful I was to have someone I enjoyed being quarantined with. She said, “must be nice.”
- I need to attend a meeting when this is over. Weight Watchers or AA?
- People keep asking me, “Is COVID-19 really that serious?” Well, the casinos are closed. The churches are closed. When Heaven and Hell agree on the same thing it’s probably serious.
- I’m so old I lived through COVID 1 through 18.
- At least I’ve lost all anxiety about my phone battery level since I’m never more than eight feet from an outlet anymore.
So, here I sit collecting jokes, playing Scrabble with my wife, looking at places to travel to, visiting the grocery store once a week, and walking to the park.
And on Sundays I go to church to setup the Facebook Live system where the four us there keep six feet apart. Therefore, a few church jokes:
- Good news: your pastor now approves of you being on Facebook during church.
- For those watching: Best thing about online church is that if I find somebody in my pew tomorrow, I can call the police.
Feel free to contribute your favorite quarantine jokes in the Comments.